- You want more (BETTER).
- You feel you deserve more (BETTER).
- You force yourself to be content (You’re fake happy, fake fulfilled).
- You feel low. (Most or All of the time).
Point 1 : You have an idea or desire for what you want/expect (examples: honest communication, consideration, support, affection, date nights, to feel safe and loved, kind words, friendship, laughter, gifts, honesty, fun, to feel heard) from a relationship, but you’re not experiencing the things you desire OR you’re experiencing them in small, sporadic, inconsistent doses.
Point 2: Deep down (or maybe not so deep down) you feel (and know) you deserve better. That nagging suspicion or that wondering that seems to be on repeat are oftentimes your indicators and your guides.
Point 3: You find yourself trying to convince yourself that “It’s cool”. You talk yourself out of what you really desire and attempt to force yourself to just be happy with what you have (even though what you’re being given doesn’t fill you up).
Point 4: You feel sucky. Low. Hopeless. When we go against what our spirit wants and needs the end product is feeling super low. Your spirit wants you happy, joyful, having a good time, feeling good, safe, and at ease.
If you feel you may be settling for the wrong relationship, I encourage you to:
Reflect on what’s holding you hostage. It’s mostly likely fear. Reflect on what you’re afraid of. Face your fears head on and counter all fear based thoughts. For example, Fear Based Thoughts: I’m afraid that this relationship is my ONLY chance at having love. Nobody else wants me. I’m too old. Counter Thoughts: Is it TRUE that in life we only get one shot at love? Isn’t there evidence to support that people start over and live happily with people more fitting for them ALL THE TIME? Isn’t there evidence to support that people are finding real love at all ages? If others can have it why can’t I?
Stop telling yourself (consciously or subconsciously) that you’re not worthy of what you really want. Stop allowing yourself to believe this. Get comfortable countering thoughts and beliefs that make you feel less than and unworthy. Start with daily affirmations ( I am deserving. I am enough. I am worthy). Typically, we settle because subconsciously we don’t believe that we are deserving. Changing that narrative starts with changing your thinking about yourself. P.S. Journaling and reciting daily affirmations/declarations is a great start, Additionally, a licensed professional can help you get to the root of why you may be feeling unworthy in certain areas of your life. He/she can also provide you with a variety of tools and strategies to help you see your worth more clearly.
I hope this read provided a little insight and encouragement. As always, I want you OUT of unhealthy and unhappy relationships, healing, seeing your worth, and happy. You deserve that!
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