4 Mistakes All Single Women should Avoid Making (or Remixing)

You’ve been single for a minute now. You’re starting to feel a little restless. Just about ready to throw in the towel and risk it all–your peace & your joy–for somebody who ain’t even worth it. But girl, I can’t watch you do that (again)! You’ve come too far. You’ve been self love and self care heavy. You’re on top of all your goals! You’ve managed to sidestep your way by a whole lot of unnecessary drama and low vibes. You’re in a great space sis! With that being said, please allow this blog post to serve as a friendly and loving reminder of mistakes we (because when I write for you I’m also writing for myself) should all avoid making or RE-making ( remixing) while navigating, with style and grace, or single path .

4 Mistakes For All Single Women to Avoid Making (or Remixing)

1. Allowing people/society to make you feel less than because of your romantic love life status. When you allow this, you’re declaring and agreeing with said members of society. You then start to judge, belittle, and mistreat yourself based on someone else’s narrow minded thinking. This causes you to feel low about yourself and your life. (Not cool!)
2. Putting so much focus and energy on romantic love that you neglect and show no gratitude for all the other special and meaningful ways Love presents itself in your life. Folks (a lot of folks) love you. Parent/s. Family members. A sister friend. Your homeboy. Your creator. Love is around you. Love is in you. You are loved. You are love. Appreciate all the many ways love shows up, uniquely packaged, just for you.
3. Putting your life on hold because you’re waiting for someone (new bae) to spice it up. Girl! You. Are. The. Spice. So get to spicing! Live. Enjoy. Be festive. Have fun. Learn new things. Grow. Lean into your joy. It’s your job to make your like as adventurous and as full as possible. You deserve adventure. You deserve fun. You deserve amazing moments. You deserve achievements. You deserve fulfillment. And you have the power to make all that happen. Right now! The bonus is this: when you do start dating someone worth it, you’ll have lots of cool sh*t to talk about. In the interim, make certain you’re living your life, and not wasting it.
4. Choosing just anybody (any-old-body!). Choosing someone who’s obviously not a good fit for you and your happiness goals. Desperation, loneliness, haste, boredom, and mistake #1 are the reasons we find ourselves in these tricky situations. But we don’t have time for tricks. Try these instead: Take your time. Curate a life you love. Stop letting people tell you who you are. Stop affixing your worth to your romantic love life status.

If you enjoyed this read, you can follow me on IG for more mini blogs, posts, and videos: https://www.instagram.com/rhondamarcellehall/

How To Take full advantage of your single

Photo by Radomir Jordanovic on Pexels.com

If you are trying to fast forward this season, using the majority of your single girl seconds consumed with how quickly you can snag your next boo ( a boo, any boo), married to the story that being single sucks, then you are not using your time wisely OR joyfully. Sulking, inviting misery (lack of joy and gratitude) to camp out with you, reminding yourself every second of how much you hate it here in Singleville, and judging your life based on hashtag couples goals photos is a set up. As a result, you are low vibing. And unfortunately, low vibes attract more low vibes.

Keep reading for tips on how to boost your joy and your vibration during your single season.

Tips On How To Take Full Advantage Of Your Single Season:

• Invest in meeting improved versions of yourself. Journal. Talk to a therapist. Develop your spiritual practice. Learn about your unhelpful characteristics and toxic/unhealthy traits ( we all have a few). Pivot as needed. The more you learn and improve, the more you will want to learn and improve. It’s quite possibly the greatest act of Self Love.
• Learn to enjoy your own company: Spend time doing things you enjoy, sans a committee (friends. family, late night visitors, etc.,). Sometimes we’re afraid of extended time alone with ourselves because we have not yet learned the value in our solitude. We’re always searching for others to keep time with us. Try doing a few things alone (and not begrudgingly), Give yourself a chance to enjoy your own company.

• Try new things. Go on a hike if you’ve never been. Check out that new winery and stomp grapes while you’re there. Take the course. Try the new hair color. Change careers. Plant the garden. Commit to trying and learning new things. This is a great way to learn, adventure, and boost your joy.
• Get Social. Investigate creative ways to interact with people, A virtual book club. A virtual plant group. An online course. Outdoor outings. Having a life of your own, a social calendar filled with purposeful and fun activities (even during a pandemic) is a must for maximizing your stay in Singleville. Interacting with other positive individuals, hearing new perspectives, sharing your thoughts and ideas are great ways to become a better you. (Learn to enjoy your own company AND make time to socialize. You can do both.)
• Create. Look for ways to express your creative side. We all have a creative side. (God is a creative genius. He’s literally THEE GOAT. We all have creative genius deposited inside of us. Lean into it.) Decorate a room. Play in makeup/clothes. Arrange a flower assortment. Write something. Choreograph a dance. Paint. Cook a meal. Creating is a joy booster. Boosted joy means a boosted vibration.
• Have fun. Make having fun a priority. A non negotiable. If you’re denying yourself fun, not choosing or chasing fun, not creating fun during your single, it’s going to be a long and miserable ride.

You deserve joy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve adventures and growth. And you do not have to (you should not) wait until you’re evicted from Singleville to experience these things. You deserve them all today.

In closing, it’s always a pleasure writing for you. Feel free to leave a comment as it’s always good to hear from you as well. Meet me on IG for daily posts, updates, and more. http://instagram.com/rhondamarcellehall/

Kindest regards,

Rhonda Marcelle

How to know if you’re settling For The Wrong relationship

Photo by Caique Silva on Pexels.com

• You want more (BETTER).
• You feel you deserve more (BETTER).
• You force yourself to be content (You’re fake happy, fake fulfilled).
• You feel low. (Most or All of the time).

Point 1 : You have an idea or desire for what you want/expect (examples: honest communication, consideration, support, affection, date nights, to feel safe and loved, kind words, friendship, laughter, gifts, honesty, fun, to feel heard) from a relationship, but you’re not experiencing the things you desire OR you’re experiencing them in small, sporadic, inconsistent doses.

Point 2: Deep down (or maybe not so deep down) you feel (and know) you deserve better. That nagging suspicion or that wondering that seems to be on repeat are oftentimes your indicators and your guides.

Point 3: You find yourself trying to convince yourself that “It’s cool”. You talk yourself out of what you really desire and attempt to force yourself to just be happy with what you have (even though what you’re being given doesn’t fill you up).

Point 4: You feel sucky. Low. Hopeless. When we go against what our spirit wants and needs the end product is feeling super low. Your spirit wants you happy, joyful, having a good time, feeling good, safe, and at ease.

If you feel you may be settling for the wrong relationship, I encourage you to:

Reflect on what’s holding you hostage. It’s mostly likely fear. Reflect on what you’re afraid of. Face your fears head on and counter all fear based thoughts. For example, Fear Based Thoughts: I’m afraid that this relationship is my ONLY chance at having love. Nobody else wants me. I’m too old. Counter Thoughts: Is it TRUE that in life we only get one shot at love? Isn’t there evidence to support that people start over and live happily with people more fitting for them ALL THE TIME? Isn’t there evidence to support that people are finding real love at all ages? If others can have it why can’t I?

Stop telling yourself (consciously or subconsciously) that you’re not worthy of what you really want. Stop allowing yourself to believe this. Get comfortable countering thoughts and beliefs that make you feel less than and unworthy. Start with daily affirmations ( I am deserving. I am enough. I am worthy). Typically, we settle because subconsciously we don’t believe that we are deserving. Changing that narrative starts with changing your thinking about yourself. P.S. Journaling and reciting daily affirmations/declarations is a great start, Additionally, a licensed professional can help you get to the root of why you may be feeling unworthy in certain areas of your life. He/she can also provide you with a variety of tools and strategies to help you see your worth more clearly.

I hope this read provided a little insight and encouragement. As always, I want you OUT of unhealthy and unhappy relationships, healing, seeing your worth, and happy. You deserve that!

Kindest regards,

Rhonda Marcelle

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IG- @rhondamarcellehall

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It’s Over! NOw What?

Breakups just have a way of making us feel SO low and SO crappy. It doesn’t matter if you were walked out on or if you decided to do the walking. Break ups foster feelings and thoughts of confusion and self doubt (especially initially). We question our own self worth and desirability.  We wonder if something’s wrong with us. We wonder why did he choose her and not me. We question if we’re good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. We entertain all sorts of unhelpful thoughts and if we’re not careful we start to believe those thoughts. (Scary right?)⠀

Despite sitting up in my lonely ass apartment, feeling depressed and worthless as hell after a break up, I started to positively affirm myself:

❤ I am worthy. ⠀

❤ I am enough. ⠀

❤ I am healing. ⠀

❤ I am strong.  I will get through  this. ⠀

❤ Everything works out for my  good. ⠀

❤ I am excited to write my next  chapter. ⠀

❤ I am deserving of amazing love. 

❤ I will experience amazing love  when the time is right. ⠀

I went from thinking (and almost believing)…”I’m a total loser-I should just lay here and be miserable for the rest of my days-what’s the point of it all-nobody wants me anyways 😫😩” to…’Girl! Girl!! if you don’t get your ass up, wash your face, brush your teeth, jump in that shower, slather that shea butter on,  do something with your hot mess hair, get dressed, venture out, and get to living and growing again! You better not ( you bet not) allow this break up to break you!” ⠀

The circumstance didn’t change (the relationship was still O-V-E-R…over !). But my thoughts about myself and the circumstances did change (jackpot!). And with that came a shift in mood, a shift in my vibration, a shift in my outlook, and a shift in my actions.⠀

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I really hope this helps someone today. I want to see you happy, feeling confident, smiling again, and on your bounce back ❤.

4 Reasons Why I’m Really Digging Therapy

I have a friend (a few actually) who strongly advocates for therapy. I didn’t pay her gentle and numerous  suggestions much attention at first to be honest. Instead, I’d read her posts stating “ Everybody should get a therapists!” or “ Do yourself a favor. Go to therapy!”,consider for like a millisecond, then swiftly dismiss the idea with a Nah, I think I’m good.  I reasoned, I’m not in crisis right now. Plus, I have a few compassionate witnesses to vent to when I’m going through. That should be good enough.  I dodged therapy for years. After only three sessions I’m seeing I’ve been in my own way…for years. Yes, I love reading self help books, practicing gratitude, talking to God and writing my prayers out. Yes, I could’ve probably maintained and lived a decent life with doing just those things. But deep down I didn’t want to just maintain or live a decent life. I wanted to live my best life.  I wanted 40 to be my best year yet. So with the courtesy of a little nudging, I finally acquiesced.

While on vacay in Miami I mentioned to my friend, “Yeah. I’m thinking about going to a therapist. Maybe there are some things /new strategies I can learn to help me navigate my life journey better.” As soon as we got back from dinner my friend pulls her laptop out and says, “Let’s research some therapists in your area now.” Maybe she knew I’d talk myself out of going (again).  Maybe she knew my follow up game would be weak on this. Maybe she knew another friend had recommended someone just last year to me. I even took the contact information down. I visited the recommended therapist’s page. And that was as far as I got.  “But we’re on vacation”  I whined. “It can wait. I’ll do it once I get back to Maryland.” “No, we’re fine. Let’s do it now.” (In other words, Girl Bye).

Something about my now therapist’s face, her write up, and overall aura (through the screen) made me feel as if she was the one. And I was right! Although I was nervous about our initial 15 minute phone consultation (What am I going to say? What am I supposed to say?) it went rather smoothly. I felt safe and at ease while speaking with her during the brief consultation. She asked introductory questions and told me a little about herself. She asked me what prompted me to seek therapy at this time.  “We’ll, nothing’s really going on in my life right now. I turned 40 recently and I’d just like to become as self aware as possible.” She seemed pleased with my response. She assured me that self awareness was a great reason to seek therapy. That pleased me. We met the following week. On a Thursday. I was really nervous. I even considered rescheduling. A 15 minute phone chat was simple. But an entire hour of just talking? I may not be able to pull that off. What if she starts asking me questions that make me feel uncomfortable? What if I get stuck or mis-express myself  when asked cold questions ( I have a fear of misspeaking, not expressing my feelings and thoughts clearly.)  We’re just going to be sitting there looking at each other, trying to feel gaps of awkward silence I bet. Boy was I wrong! So, so, so wrong. Lol.

Therapy is:

1. An Opportunity to Speak and be Heard

I actually confused and amazed myself during my first session. I talked the ENTIRE time. I honestly didn’t think I had lots to talk about before that first session. In most settings with other adults ( I talk my head off in the classroom but that’s different. Lol)  I’m typically in the cut, listening and observing. So I surprised myself going on and on like a motor mouth.  I left her office feeling ten times lighter, as if I finally had a chance to unload all the thoughts circling around in my brain for God knows how long. Thoughts I didn’t even know I was trudging along with. My therapist lightly probed, was attentive, nodded her head to show she that she understood me. It all felt really good! And it made me want to share even more. Every other week it’s as if  I’m the host of an hour long talk show with an audience (my therapist) clinging on to my every word. The spotlight is solely on me. (Insert smile here.)

2. Helping Me Get More In Tune With My Thoughts and Feelings

Remember when I said I have a fear of misspeaking, not clearly or articulately expressing my feelings and thoughts around said feelings? Instead of misspeaking or mis-expressing myself I’ve opted to simply not say anything (or much) at all.  I’ve learned, after 2 sessions, that this isn’t necessarily a case of ‘ That’s just how I am’ but rather… I’m not in tune enough (yet) with my own feelings to be as expressive as I’d like. I’m not certain about you but I didn’t grow up with a whole lot of emphasis on feelings. You grind and work hard. Handle your business. Understand that life happens. But under no circumstance are you to let it break you. That’s it.  And I’m not mad at this at all. I appreciate my upbringing immensely. But I also understand this could be why I’m at a slight deficit in the areas of feelings, emotions, and oral expression. My next assignment was to record my feelings in a journal. When given this assignment, I initially thought, Hmmm…not certain what this will accomplish but I’ll try it. Can I just say that that simple assignment has proven itself to be quite effective! I’m feeling more in tune with myself. Lol. My new favorite question for myself is, So how are you feeling right now? I journal about how I’m feeling, why I’m feeling said way, and develop a plan if need be (Like if I’m feeling stuck or discontent I spend time identifying why. Then come up with a few action steps I can realistically take to move toward being and feeling unstuck. Nothing will change over night but just having a plan in place feels so empowering!).

3. Helping Me Get in Tune With What I Really Want

I’m realizing there are areas in my life where my wants are fuzzy (unclear). “So what do you want?” my therapist has asked a few times. I pause and in a talking-singing voice respond, I don’t know. I didn’t beat myself up for not knowing. And let me tell you, for some reason it felt freaking amazing simply realizing and admitting the truth. I. Don’t. Know. I’m not getting what I really want because I haven’t taken the time to actually consider what I really want.  (Ah-hah moment!) But now I can address the fuzz and focus on what I really want.  I realize if I’m not clear (specific as hell), I’ll get (continue to get) ‘something, kinda, sorta but not quite’ what I really want.

4. Holds Me Accountable

I know I’m going to do the work (like reflecting on and outlining exactly what I want) because I’m being held accountable. I have shitloads of Self Help books but I don’t believe I’ve ever fully completed any of the suggested assignments that accompany them. I happen to follow through at a higher percentage with a little extra motivation. My therapist is like a coach who’s  not going to allow me to waste time playing goofy games, who wants me to perform at my absolute best.

In closing,  I’m eager to uncover, learn, and pursue more during this journey. I wanted to become as self aware as possible during my 40Fine year.  I’m feeling so grateful that with the help of a therapist it’s happening. Slowly.   Surely. Happening…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miss Independence

My WCE for the month ( Thee entire month!) of July, is without question, Judge  Amber Givens-Davis.  While I was casually scrolling FB the other night, her photo quickly caught my attention. Hold up! Who is that? Scroll back up.   I don’t believe I’ve seen a judge give it how she gave it.  And that’s not to short change other black women judges who consistently give us diva, glam, class, sass, sophistication, and more. But Givens-Davis, with her shaved sides (Shaved sides y’all!) poppin matte lip, fleeky eyebrows, lux lashes, and overall mood, eased her way into home plate for a total Rockstar-Badass home run. And do you know what I love more than a poppin lip?? A poppin lip on a woman who basks in  authentic confidence, unadulterated boldness.

“I don’t separate my person from my job,” she said. “But it just so happens that my person is being highlighted because of the audacity that I have to be myself. But my job is very serious. I take it very seriously.”

Independence is freedom. Independence is strength. Independence is nonconforming.  Independence is confidence. Independence is self governing. Independence is free thinking.  Independence is having “the audacity” to be yourself.  Judge Amber Givens-Davis showed up precisely how she wanted to show up. That’s freedom.  That’s independence. Unfazed by what others thought of her. Unbothered by what others deemed appropriate and acceptable. She showed up in boldness. In confidence. In all her Black Girl Magic glory. Without apology.  Givens-Davis consequently hits a double homerun when she meets with young girls and encourages them to do the same,  to express their individuality without apology, encouraging them (all of us really) to flex (or continue flexing) that independence.

Thank you Judge Amber Givens-Davis for being so fierce and unapologetic. Thank you for pouring into our girls in a lasting and meaningful way. Thank you for reminding us that we are the CEO’s of our individuality and self expression. Thank you for having the courage to show up as you are,  thus empowering many other women and girls to show up as they are. Lastly, thank you for your  life giving slay.

Happy Miss Independence Day to you and women everywhere. Today and always…

 

 

 

 

 

CultureFestDMV: The Recap

This teacher is SO ready to call it a wrap, throw in the towel, hang it up, ditch School Year 18/19, or however you prefer phrasing it. I’m ready to get my summer on! And what’s synonymous with summer??? Festivals! CultureFest DMV was the perfect preview for a summer filled with friends, family, food, fun, and festivals (insert smile huge smile here). The location was perfect and the weather even better. Parking wasn’t a challenge and the venue was open enough (this year) where if you needed a moment to take a breather and a break from all the hype, you could easily do so and just people watch from the sidelines.

CultureFest brought artists and dj’s from various locations throughout the diaspora to rock out for and with us…In addition to the main stage, there were two party “tents”, smaller in size but large in “turn up”. I was supposed to just be poking my head in one, then heading out. However the music and fun were flowing so I found myself hanging out until the event was just about over.

If I had to pick 3 (just 3) things I enjoyed most about CultureFestDMV 2019 I’d have to say:

1. The Energy

You ever go someplace and can literally feel good vibes in the air, oozing off and out of everybody? People are smiling at each other and being extra nice just because. Worries and concerns are left at the gate. So everybody’s traveling lighter. Looser. Friendlier. Happier.  That kind of energy is so inviting, so contagious. So intoxicating.

2. The Music

Duh! Music has the power to take us to another dimension. It boosts our moods (the right music), takes us back to the good old days while giving us hope for the future. And if you listen, for hours, to feel good music, accompanied by a rack of other folk also feeling amazing and hopeful, it’s impossible not to become “intoxicated” (high off the vibes).

3. The Fashion

Festivals are synonymous with fashion. I love an opportunity to see how my fellow black girls put it together. We’re just so “ YAAASSS Girl!” with it. Bright colors, cool patterns, shoulders out, crop tops, shorts, flowy dresses, ripped denim, curls, twists, and lips poppin, shades. Man…all of it. You name it. Knowing what you what to express, then expressing/communicating it without saying a word…that’s the definition of style and fashion to me. And Black girls (yes I’m biased…but I’m also telling the truth) are LOADED with it. It’s like…our birthright. The girls were on point Saturday. And I can’t front, the fellas were too. While some preferred the typical summer day uniform for fellas (T-shirt, shorts/denim), others came out in their print button downs, attire to represent home, and slip ins. I peeped them looking oh so “swaggy”.

If I could make just one small request moving forward it would be to include even more representation from throughout the African diaspora (African-American, European, Haitian, South American, etc.) in the spirit of Doing-It-For-The-Culture (Doing-It-For-The-Diaspora).

In closing, I’m hoping your summer calendar is filled with loads of activities centered around family, friends, food, fun, and of course, a festival or two…

 

Fun Fact: I repurposed this head wrap and wore it bandeau style Saturday. Looking forward to sporting this look all summer…

Fun Fact: I repurposed this head wrap and wore it bandeau style Saturday. Looking forward to sporting this look all summer…

Fun Fact: I repurposed this head wrap and wore it bandeau style Saturday. Looking forward to sporting this look all summer…

 

T. BanX

 

Tyra Banks gave us our whole entire lives appearing (reappearing) on the cover of Sports Illustrated. In addition to sexy swimsuits, Tyra was also rockin a total vibe. She exuded sass, grace, wisdom, unbotheredness, and above all confidence.  I have deep admiration for women who have decided to live life on their own terms and in their own lanes.  Women who don’t conform to rules imposed on them by society. Women who they create their own rules. Women who get “sexier” with age. Women who inspire other women to be their best self. Tyra has consistently been a rule creator and an inspiration for women. With acting, TV Show-hosting and creating,  studying at Harvad, being a business woman, authoring, and more, she’s shown us that we don’t have to be trapped inside a box, afraid to remix ourselves. Tyra’s encouraged us to explore , discover, and create new versions of ourselves. She’s been our Beauty Coach and Cheerleader, telling us that we’re beautiful (size, shape, curves, cellulite, complexion, hair texture, age being of no consequence) teaching us to smize, to work our angles, to boldly glide into a room and work it! She’s modeled for us how to speak our truth and stand up to naysayers, bullies, and body-shamers (“Kiss. My. Fat. Ass!”)

And today we see Tyra in all her forty-fine-as-hell (45) years of glory, encouraging women in my demographic not to dare hang our “sexy”  up just yet. And when I think of a woman’s “sexy” I’m not just talking about how hot she looks in a two-piece.  I’m considering her confidence, her grace, her ambition, her fearlessness in navigating her own unique path, her expression, her thirst for adventure, her strength and independence , her being in tuned with her truth, her creativity, her drive to be better, her treatment of herself (and others), her persistence in room either being made or making room for herself, her smile, her style, her vibe. Tyra BanX smashing the cover of SI in 2019  exuded All. Of. That. “sexy”…  to me.  I appreciate her for consistently being an inspiration to myself and women all over the world, reminding us that we’re everything we need to be, more than enough, beautiful.  Thank you Ms. Banx for your “sexy” inspiration…

“This is for everybody that has been told that they are not good enough because of their body, their age, their everything. BanX is here to tell you that your ARE friggin’ fierce no matter what anybody says! Drops mic now!”

WTF is Turndown Service?

We decided to dine at Havana 1957. Showered. Dressed. Lips poppin. With keys, phones, and wallets in hand. The room appeared orderly. My bed for the weekend was made up and embellished with big fluffy pillows, a paisley print bed runner, and more. We head down to catch our uber. Enjoy Cuban food, mojitos, music, scenery, and shenanigans. All is well.

Upon returning back to the room, I notice something’s…different. The bed! It’s big fluffy pillow-less. Bed-runner less. Colorless. Where did all the color and décor go? WTF happened to bed? “Hey, did you move the pillows off the bed?” Rhonda, I was with you. How would I have moved the pillows off the bed?, my friend says as cool as a fan.  WTF then. I don’t remember doing it. Am I trippin? Am I in a drunken trance? But why would I be drunk? I only had…two drinks at the pool this afternoon. A Miami Vice (Aye!) and a Frose (frozen wine). Then I had a glass of Rose (not frozen) before dinner. And last, but certainly not least, a passion fruit mojito at dinner. Oh Lordt. I’m gone! The rum. The rum. The rum. That Cuban rum got me fucked up right now. Friend’s looking at me. I’m looking at friend. Friend is chill. Super chill. I’m on the verge of losing my shit however. Well…what happened? Who was in here?, I manage.  “It’s turn down service.” WTF is turn down service? What is that I ask, genuinely curious and clueless. “Rhonda, act like you’ve been somewhere before. Turn down service. When they get the bed prepared for you to sleep in at night.” “I’ve never heard of turn down service in my life”.

You haven’t?

No. So…you mean to tell me housekeeping comes in the morning to clean and make the bed up, then they come BACK at night to unmake your bed?

“Yup.”

That’s some straight white people shit. “Interesting. I need to google an get some more information about this.” My friend chuckles and asks, ” Are you really googling it?”. Yes, I say.   And thus far I’ve learned what I already pretty much suspected—rich, back in the day, white people shit.

So…in the event, you’re a little something like me, and you learned something new courtesy of this read, on your next traveling adventure, feel free to act as you’ve been somewhere and as if you know a little something about “the finer things in life”. The humiliation’s on me…

Sorry, No Love Guru Here…

While having girl talk with friends the other night, someone asked me,” So what do you think about all of this? You’re the relationship expert.” I laughed so hard! Me? “Relationship expert”!?  “Shiiiid”. I couldn’t disagree more. And that’s no shade to myself at all. Just pure honesty. (To thine own self be true).  I don’t consider myself a master of love and relationships. If I had to assess my areas of weakness, I’d say I can be too naive at times. I’m too generous with seeing the good, believing and trusting in people. I’m partial to giving the benefit.  And lastly, I can be  way “too nice”…until…you have really pissed me the fuck off.

With that said I cannot, in good conscience, allow anyone to give me credit for mastering love (yet). However, I, without shame, do pride myself on being a master of something! And that’s bouncing back (I’m a season bounce backer) and striving to live my best life after heartbreak… and always.

Last Night I Took an L But Tonight I Bounce Back…

When Auntie Retha told us, “Don’t believe your life is over just because your man is gone. Love yourself enough to know that without him your life goes on. ” I felt that deep down in my core (A Rose Is Still A Rose ). So much so that every book I’ve ever written (a whopping two) centered around one central theme: I know that shit hurts, but life goes on. I know how devastating it is to really want to go the distance with someone only to realize it’s not happening. I know how infuriating it is to have sacrificed and compromised for very little regard in return. I know how humiliating it is explaining  another relationship didn’t work out.  I know how humbling it is to admit “I missed or ignored the signs.”  In sum,  I know how painful it is to have loved and loss. But the good news…No!…the GREAT news is that Life. Goes. On. Ask me how I know. Experience taught me. That’s how I know.  And OMG! there’s just something so magical, so courageous, so empowering, so confidence boosting, so swag elevating, so badass, about wiping your tears, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and refusing to crumble just because that man is gone (or was asked to leave). There’s  something gangsta about pushing through and putting your energy and focus on making you a better you.

The Only Life I’m Trying To Live is My Best Life (“PERIODT!”)

Life is colorful AF. I want women too understand this, and to get in on the good stuff!  I don’t care if you’re single, never been married, never getting married, divorced, whatever!  There’s no reason why you should not be enjoying your life to thee absolute fullest! Your status should not dictate how lit (exciting, full) your life is and can be. I’m saddened, crushed when I see my peoples (women folk) unhappy and struggling with this concept.  Instead of living their best (lit, lively, exciting, purposeful, balanced, fulfilling, productive, happy) life now, they’re  waiting for a new man or for an old man to return before claiming  BLL (Best Life Living) . Stop that!  I’m trying to live my best life today. I’m shooting my shots today. I’m trying to create meaningful memories today. I’m not waiting to be happy. I ain’t got time.  And any/every good thing that has my name on it I want now…and later.  The LMBL train is on the move girl and we need you on board!  Don’t subtract from your life by refusing to live your fullest life. Add on girl! Add on…

As always, thank you for stopping by. My hope is that you find a nugget or two to take away from this message. If so, please feel free to comment, share and /or repost. Until next time…Peace and Love.