Miss Independence

546F410A-360F-4E7E-A4A8-22953742D894My WCE for the month ( Thee entire month!) of July, is without question, Judge  Amber Givens-Davis.  While I was casually scrolling FB the other night, her photo quickly caught my attention. Hold up! Who is that? Scroll back up.   I don’t believe I’ve seen a judge give it how she gave it.  And that’s not to short change other black women judges who consistently give us diva, glam, class, sass, sophistication, and more. But Givens-Davis, with her shaved sides (Shaved sides y’all!) poppin matte lip, fleeky eyebrows, lux lashes, and overall mood, eased her way into home plate for a total Rockstar-Badass home run. And do you know what I love more than a poppin lip?? A poppin lip on a woman who basks in  authentic confidence, unadulterated boldness.

“I don’t separate my person from my job,” she said. “But it just so happens that my person is being highlighted because of the audacity that I have to be myself. But my job is very serious. I take it very seriously.”

Independence is freedom. Independence is strength. Independence is nonconforming.  Independence is confidence. Independence is self governing. Independence is free thinking.  Independence is having “the audacity” to be yourself.  Judge Amber Givens-Davis showed up precisely how she wanted to show up. That’s freedom.  That’s independence. Unfazed by what others thought of her. Unbothered by what others deemed appropriate and acceptable. She showed up in boldness. In confidence. In all her Black Girl Magic glory. Without apology.  Givens-Davis consequently hits a double homerun when she meets with young girls and encourages them to do the same,  to express their individuality without apology, encouraging them (all of us really) to flex (or continue flexing) that independence.

Thank you Judge Amber Givens-Davis for being so fierce and unapologetic. Thank you for pouring into our girls in a lasting and meaningful way. Thank you for reminding us that we are the CEO’s of our individuality and self expression. Thank you for having the courage to show up as you are,  thus empowering many other women and girls to show up as they are. Lastly, thank you for your  life giving slay.

Happy Miss Independence Day to you and women everywhere. Today and always…

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry, No Love Guru Here…

IMG_9989

While having girl talk with friends the other night, someone asked me,” So what do you think about all of this? You’re the relationship expert.” I laughed so hard! Me? “Relationship expert”!?  “Shiiiid”. I couldn’t disagree more. And that’s no shade to myself at all. Just pure honesty. (To thine own self be true).  I don’t consider myself a master of love and relationships. If I had to assess my areas of weakness, I’d say I can be too naive at times. I’m too generous with seeing the good, believing and trusting in people. I’m partial to giving the benefit.  And lastly, I can be  way “too nice”…until…you have really pissed me the fuck off.

With that said I cannot, in good conscience, allow anyone to give me credit for mastering love (yet). However, I, without shame, do pride myself on being a master of something! And that’s bouncing back (I’m a season bounce backer) and striving to live my best life after heartbreak… and always.

Last Night I Took an L But Tonight I Bounce Back…

When Auntie Retha told us, “Don’t believe your life is over just because your man is gone. Love yourself enough to know that without him your life goes on. ” I felt that deep down in my core (A Rose Is Still A Rose ). So much so that every book I’ve ever written (a whopping two) centered around one central theme: I know that shit hurts, but life goes on. I know how devastating it is to really want to go the distance with someone only to realize it’s not happening. I know how infuriating it is to have sacrificed and compromised for very little regard in return. I know how humiliating it is explaining  another relationship didn’t work out.  I know how humbling it is to admit “I missed or ignored the signs.”  In sum,  I know how painful it is to have loved and loss. But the good news…No!…the GREAT news is that Life. Goes. On. Ask me how I know. Experience taught me. That’s how I know.  And OMG! there’s just something so magical, so courageous, so empowering, so confidence boosting, so swag elevating, so badass, about wiping your tears, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and refusing to crumble just because that man is gone (or was asked to leave). There’s  something gangsta about pushing through and putting your energy and focus on making you a better you.

The Only Life I’m Trying To Live is My Best Life (“PERIODT!”)

Life is colorful AF. I want women too understand this, and to get in on the good stuff!  I don’t care if you’re single, never been married, never getting married, divorced, whatever!  There’s no reason why you should not be enjoying your life to thee absolute fullest! Your status should not dictate how lit (exciting, full) your life is and can be. I’m saddened, crushed when I see my peoples (women folk) unhappy and struggling with this concept.  Instead of living their best (lit, lively, exciting, purposeful, balanced, fulfilling, productive, happy) life now, they’re  waiting for a new man or for an old man to return before claiming  BLL (Best Life Living) . Stop that!  I’m trying to live my best life today. I’m shooting my shots today. I’m trying to create meaningful memories today. I’m not waiting to be happy. I ain’t got time.  And any/every good thing that has my name on it I want now…and later.  The LMBL train is on the move girl and we need you on board!  Don’t subtract from your life by refusing to live your fullest life. Add on girl! Add on…

As always, thank you for stopping by. My hope is that you find a nugget or two to take away from this message. If so, please feel free to comment, share and /or repost. Until next time…Peace and Love.