How To Take full advantage of your single

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If you are trying to fast forward this season, using the majority of your single girl seconds consumed with how quickly you can snag your next boo ( a boo, any boo), married to the story that being single sucks, then you are not using your time wisely OR joyfully. Sulking, inviting misery (lack of joy and gratitude) to camp out with you, reminding yourself every second of how much you hate it here in Singleville, and judging your life based on hashtag couples goals photos is a set up. As a result, you are low vibing. And unfortunately, low vibes attract more low vibes.

Keep reading for tips on how to boost your joy and your vibration during your single season.

Tips On How To Take Full Advantage Of Your Single Season:

  • Invest in meeting improved versions of yourself. Journal. Talk to a therapist. Develop your spiritual practice. Learn about your unhelpful characteristics and toxic/unhealthy traits ( we all have a few). Pivot as needed. The more you learn and improve, the more you will want to learn and improve. It’s quite possibly the greatest act of Self Love.
  • Learn to enjoy your own company: Spend time doing things you enjoy, sans a committee (friends. family, late night visitors, etc.,). Sometimes we’re afraid of extended time alone with ourselves because we have not yet learned the value in our solitude. We’re always searching for others to keep time with us. Try doing a few things alone (and not begrudgingly), Give yourself a chance to enjoy your own company.
  • Try new things. Go on a hike if you’ve never been. Check out that new winery and stomp grapes while you’re there. Take the course. Try the new hair color. Change careers. Plant the garden. Commit to trying and learning new things. This is a great way to learn, adventure, and boost your joy.
  • Get Social. Investigate creative ways to interact with people, A virtual book club. A virtual plant group. An online course. Outdoor outings. Having a life of your own, a social calendar filled with purposeful and fun activities (even during a pandemic) is a must for maximizing your stay in Singleville. Interacting with other positive individuals, hearing new perspectives, sharing your thoughts and ideas are great ways to become a better you. (Learn to enjoy your own company AND make time to socialize. You can do both.)
  • Create. Look for ways to express your creative side. We all have a creative side. (God is a creative genius. He’s literally THEE GOAT. We all have creative genius deposited inside of us. Lean into it.) Decorate a room. Play in makeup/clothes. Arrange a flower assortment. Write something. Choreograph a dance. Paint. Cook a meal. Creating is a joy booster. Boosted joy means a boosted vibration.
  • Have fun. Make having fun a priority. A non negotiable. If you’re denying yourself fun, not choosing or chasing fun, not creating fun during your single, it’s going to be a long and miserable ride.

You deserve joy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve adventures and growth. And you do not have to (you should not) wait until you’re evicted from Singleville to experience these things. You deserve them all today.

In closing, it’s always a pleasure writing for you. Feel free to leave a comment as it’s always good to hear from you as well. Meet me on IG for daily posts, updates, and more. http://instagram.com/rhondamarcellehall/

Kindest regards,

Rhonda Marcelle

Miss Independence

546F410A-360F-4E7E-A4A8-22953742D894My WCE for the month ( Thee entire month!) of July, is without question, Judge  Amber Givens-Davis.  While I was casually scrolling FB the other night, her photo quickly caught my attention. Hold up! Who is that? Scroll back up.   I don’t believe I’ve seen a judge give it how she gave it.  And that’s not to short change other black women judges who consistently give us diva, glam, class, sass, sophistication, and more. But Givens-Davis, with her shaved sides (Shaved sides y’all!) poppin matte lip, fleeky eyebrows, lux lashes, and overall mood, eased her way into home plate for a total Rockstar-Badass home run. And do you know what I love more than a poppin lip?? A poppin lip on a woman who basks in  authentic confidence, unadulterated boldness.

“I don’t separate my person from my job,” she said. “But it just so happens that my person is being highlighted because of the audacity that I have to be myself. But my job is very serious. I take it very seriously.”

Independence is freedom. Independence is strength. Independence is nonconforming.  Independence is confidence. Independence is self governing. Independence is free thinking.  Independence is having “the audacity” to be yourself.  Judge Amber Givens-Davis showed up precisely how she wanted to show up. That’s freedom.  That’s independence. Unfazed by what others thought of her. Unbothered by what others deemed appropriate and acceptable. She showed up in boldness. In confidence. In all her Black Girl Magic glory. Without apology.  Givens-Davis consequently hits a double homerun when she meets with young girls and encourages them to do the same,  to express their individuality without apology, encouraging them (all of us really) to flex (or continue flexing) that independence.

Thank you Judge Amber Givens-Davis for being so fierce and unapologetic. Thank you for pouring into our girls in a lasting and meaningful way. Thank you for reminding us that we are the CEO’s of our individuality and self expression. Thank you for having the courage to show up as you are,  thus empowering many other women and girls to show up as they are. Lastly, thank you for your  life giving slay.

Happy Miss Independence Day to you and women everywhere. Today and always…

 

 

 

 

 

CultureFestDMV: The Recap

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This teacher is SO ready to call it a wrap, throw in the towel, hang it up, ditch School Year 18/19, or however you prefer phrasing it. I’m ready to get my summer on! And what’s synonymous with summer??? Festivals! CultureFest DMV was the perfect preview for a summer filled with friends, family, food, fun, and festivals (insert smile huge smile here). The location was perfect and the weather even better. Parking wasn’t a challenge and the venue was open enough (this year) where if you needed a moment to take a breather and a break from all the hype, you could easily do so and just people watch from the sidelines.

CultureFest brought artists and dj’s from various locations throughout the diaspora to rock out for and with us…8EA5F4DD-5651-497F-99E0-ACDA70ECD94BIn addition to the main stage, there were two party “tents”, smaller in size but large in “turn up”. I was supposed to just be poking my head in one, then heading out. However the music and fun were flowing so I found myself hanging out until the event was just about over.

If I had to pick 3 (just 3) things I enjoyed most about CultureFestDMV 2019 I’d have to say:

1. The Energy

You ever go someplace and can literally feel good vibes in the air, oozing off and out of everybody? People are smiling at each other and being extra nice just because. Worries and concerns are left at the gate. So everybody’s traveling lighter. Looser. Friendlier. Happier.  That kind of energy is so inviting, so contagious. So intoxicating.

2. The Music

Duh! Music has the power to take us to another dimension. It boosts our moods (the right music), takes us back to the good old days while giving us hope for the future. And if you listen, for hours, to feel good music, accompanied by a rack of other folk also feeling amazing and hopeful, it’s impossible not to become “intoxicated” (high off the vibes).

3. The Fashion

Festivals are synonymous with fashion. I love an opportunity to see how my fellow black girls put it together. We’re just so “ YAAASSS Girl!” with it. Bright colors, cool patterns, shoulders out, crop tops, shorts, flowy dresses, ripped denim, curls, twists, and lips poppin, shades. Man…all of it. You name it. Knowing what you what to express, then expressing/communicating it without saying a word…that’s the definition of style and fashion to me. And Black girls (yes I’m biased…but I’m also telling the truth) are LOADED with it. It’s like…our birthright. The girls were on point Saturday. And I can’t front, the fellas were too. While some preferred the typical summer day uniform for fellas (T-shirt, shorts/denim), others came out in their print button downs, attire to represent home, and slip ins. I peeped them looking oh so “swaggy”.

If I could make just one small request moving forward it would be to include even more representation from throughout the African diaspora (African-American, European, Haitian, South American, etc.) in the spirit of Doing-It-For-The-Culture (Doing-It-For-The-Diaspora).

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In closing, I’m hoping your summer calendar is filled with loads of activities centered around family, friends, food, fun, and of course, a festival or two…

 

Fun Fact: I repurposed this head wrap and wore it bandeau style Saturday. Looking forward to sporting this look all summer…

 

T. BanX

 

A20EE774-78F7-420A-B763-761910C8278ETyra Banks gave us our whole entire lives appearing (reappearing) on the cover of Sports Illustrated. In addition to sexy swimsuits, Tyra was also rockin a total vibe. She exuded sass, grace, wisdom, unbotheredness, and above all confidence.  I have deep admiration for women who have decided to live life on their own terms and in their own lanes.  Women who don’t conform to rules imposed on them by society. Women who they create their own rules. Women who get “sexier” with age. Women who inspire other women to be their best self. Tyra has consistently been a rule creator and an inspiration for women. With acting, TV Show-hosting and creating,  studying at Harvad, being a business woman, authoring, and more, she’s shown us that we don’t have to be trapped inside a box, afraid to remix ourselves. Tyra’s encouraged us to explore , discover, and create new versions of ourselves. She’s been our Beauty Coach and Cheerleader, telling us that we’re beautiful (size, shape, curves, cellulite, complexion, hair texture, age being of no consequence) teaching us to smize, to work our angles, to boldly glide into a room and work it! She’s modeled for us how to speak our truth and stand up to naysayers, bullies, and body-shamers (“Kiss. My. Fat. Ass!”)

And today we see Tyra in all her forty-fine-as-hell (45) years of glory, encouraging women in my demographic not to dare hang our “sexy”  up just yet. And when I think of a woman’s “sexy” I’m not just talking about how hot she looks in a two-piece.  I’m considering her confidence, her grace, her ambition, her fearlessness in navigating her own unique path, her expression, her thirst for adventure, her strength and independence , her being in tuned with her truth, her creativity, her drive to be better, her treatment of herself (and others), her persistence in room either being made or making room for herself, her smile, her style, her vibe. Tyra BanX smashing the cover of SI in 2019  exuded All. Of. That. “sexy”…  to me.  I appreciate her for consistently being an inspiration to myself and women all over the world, reminding us that we’re everything we need to be, more than enough, beautiful.  Thank you Ms. Banx for your “sexy” inspiration…

“This is for everybody that has been told that they are not good enough because of their body, their age, their everything. BanX is here to tell you that your ARE friggin’ fierce no matter what anybody says! Drops mic now!”

Sorry, No Love Guru Here…

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While having girl talk with friends the other night, someone asked me,” So what do you think about all of this? You’re the relationship expert.” I laughed so hard! Me? “Relationship expert”!?  “Shiiiid”. I couldn’t disagree more. And that’s no shade to myself at all. Just pure honesty. (To thine own self be true).  I don’t consider myself a master of love and relationships. If I had to assess my areas of weakness, I’d say I can be too naive at times. I’m too generous with seeing the good, believing and trusting in people. I’m partial to giving the benefit.  And lastly, I can be  way “too nice”…until…you have really pissed me the fuck off.

With that said I cannot, in good conscience, allow anyone to give me credit for mastering love (yet). However, I, without shame, do pride myself on being a master of something! And that’s bouncing back (I’m a season bounce backer) and striving to live my best life after heartbreak… and always.

Last Night I Took an L But Tonight I Bounce Back…

When Auntie Retha told us, “Don’t believe your life is over just because your man is gone. Love yourself enough to know that without him your life goes on. ” I felt that deep down in my core (A Rose Is Still A Rose ). So much so that every book I’ve ever written (a whopping two) centered around one central theme: I know that shit hurts, but life goes on. I know how devastating it is to really want to go the distance with someone only to realize it’s not happening. I know how infuriating it is to have sacrificed and compromised for very little regard in return. I know how humiliating it is explaining  another relationship didn’t work out.  I know how humbling it is to admit “I missed or ignored the signs.”  In sum,  I know how painful it is to have loved and loss. But the good news…No!…the GREAT news is that Life. Goes. On. Ask me how I know. Experience taught me. That’s how I know.  And OMG! there’s just something so magical, so courageous, so empowering, so confidence boosting, so swag elevating, so badass, about wiping your tears, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and refusing to crumble just because that man is gone (or was asked to leave). There’s  something gangsta about pushing through and putting your energy and focus on making you a better you.

The Only Life I’m Trying To Live is My Best Life (“PERIODT!”)

Life is colorful AF. I want women too understand this, and to get in on the good stuff!  I don’t care if you’re single, never been married, never getting married, divorced, whatever!  There’s no reason why you should not be enjoying your life to thee absolute fullest! Your status should not dictate how lit (exciting, full) your life is and can be. I’m saddened, crushed when I see my peoples (women folk) unhappy and struggling with this concept.  Instead of living their best (lit, lively, exciting, purposeful, balanced, fulfilling, productive, happy) life now, they’re  waiting for a new man or for an old man to return before claiming  BLL (Best Life Living) . Stop that!  I’m trying to live my best life today. I’m shooting my shots today. I’m trying to create meaningful memories today. I’m not waiting to be happy. I ain’t got time.  And any/every good thing that has my name on it I want now…and later.  The LMBL train is on the move girl and we need you on board!  Don’t subtract from your life by refusing to live your fullest life. Add on girl! Add on…

As always, thank you for stopping by. My hope is that you find a nugget or two to take away from this message. If so, please feel free to comment, share and /or repost. Until next time…Peace and Love.

 

Sassy, Spicy, and Single

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Following is an excerpt from my first book. This particular chapter focuses on the importance of  pursuing and living your best single girl life with sass and spice (insert wink here).

Chapter 4: You’re accepting the breakup as a lesson learned, an opportunity for personal growth, a blessing in disguise, You’re living life in the Single Lane. But that’s no excuse to be bland. It’s only an excuse to regain or even better…upgrade your sassy and your spicy.

Sassy: Lively, bold, and full of spirit.

Spicy: Exciting! Flavorful!

Fun Is Necessary!

Being single and miserable, or miserably single, should not be your adopted style of choice…not ever! Singlehood is a time to make your life as flavorful as possible, Have fun–and loads of it. Fun can and must be had in a variety of ways. Hanging out with your family, having slumber parties with your besties, salsa dancing, and paint parties are just a few examples of how to keep fun and flavorful times in your life. Who said you had to be a certified event planner to act as one? Keep your calendar filled with awesome activities and exciting events.

Consider hosting movie nights, game nights, and taco and guacamole nights. You and your besties can rotate planning and hosting events. Events can be potluck styled so your pockets are not worn thin in the name of having a good time. Send out cutesy Evites for your sassy, spciy, and single slumber parties, spa dates, or mani-pedi dates. Bring an amazing attitude and a bright smile to each and every event. Keep your camera phone close by so you can capture your sassy and spicy moments. Your goal is to have loads of fun and loads of laughs and loads of spice and loads of sass!

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You Gotta Have Some Goals!

In addition to being a girl who just wants to have fun, chase new experiences and opportunities so you can gain new perspectives on yourself and the world around you. Travel. Visit places–near and far–you’ve always wanted to venture to. Take thousands of pictures while you’re visiting so you can relive your wonderful experiences over and over again. What else have you always wanted to do but failed to find the time, energy, or courage to? Start a polish line? Attend a painting class? Pole dancing? Zumba? Skydiving? Snorkeling? Write a book? Start a business? Enroll in cosmetology school? You’re operating in “Me Zone” now. Me Zone affords you the luxury and pleasure of being and doing you. This is the perfect time to embark on a deliberate pursuit of what (all) you want. Just go for it…whatever “it” may be.

I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from the book Boy Bye!  Click to preview (and or purchase ) more of this selection.

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Doubt. Do…

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Road tripped home for Thanksgiving this year, and thanks to Audible, the 14-hour drive (round-trip) was hardly “a snooze”. Jen Sincero (along with our Forever First Lady) kept me company. And they were both delights might I add. I decided to revisit Jen’s Badass series first, and I quickly realized I should be revisiting her work daily. (Not annually. Not quarterly. Not monthly. Not weekly. But DAILY!). She’s got me feeling all “badassery” now (again). Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. (Feeling like a total badass.) From time to time,  Doubt enjoys crashing my Badass parties. She’s probably crashed a few of yours as well. I’ll be rocking out, having a blast, feeling myself, all ready to face new challenges and adventures. Then here comes this  *****! Who invited her anyways? She needs to be escorted out. Immediately!

But we don’t always and swiftly escort Doubt out and away. We allow her to stay a while instead. Nag us. Make us second-guess ourselves. Doubt is a total vibe killer; a ball buster. She changes the record and totally kills the vibe at the party. One minute we’re in our zone, we’re grooving, ready to tackle some risks, feeling as us and as confident as can be. Then, all of a sudden, our badass record–affirming ourselves, being confident, up for any challenge, fearlessness, dream chasing—screeches. And stops. Doubt puts her bullshit ass records —You can’t do that! You better play it safe. Who do you think you are? —on. Then we start to talk ourselves out of what we really want, what divinely belongs to us. Opportunities are left un-pursued, ideas untouched, goals underachieved. And not because we’re not capable, or talented, or badass enough. But simply because we let doubt get in and stay in our heads. We become less daring and more doubtful of ourselves. Instead of shutting her down (Bye Bitch!), we allow Doubt to convince us we’re not good or worthy enough, that the best thing to do is to play it safe and small. She encourages us to “play to not lose instead of playing to win.”

I am vowing for the rest of 2018, all 2019, and the rest of my life to be as mindful as possible about how I interact with Doubt. I want to shut her down quicker, faster from here on out. I don’t want doubt talking me out of ( I don’t want to allow Doubt to talk me out of) anything that belongs to me.

I’m uncertain what new venture Doubt has you stepping back from and respectfully declining. It could be something as simple as writing a blog post. Or starting your business or writing that script or ditching a gig you hate for one you know you’ll love or leaving his ass or shooting your shot with her or taking your health and fitness back one meal and cardio session at a time or  booking the trip or relocating to another country or  saying “I’m sorry”…first. Whatever you’re afraid, scared to do (and most of us are afraid and scared to do something) if I can kindly suggest to you–Don’t doubt. Do. “Just do it.” Just start doing it. Just start. With one step. Toward your goal. This may mean starting things afraid. It may mean having to learn as you go. It may mean building your confidence as you do. But who cares! Do it anyway.

Dear Doubt…Thank you for trying to keep me safe, but I’m good luv. Enjoy.

 

 

WCW: The Lioness of Africa

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It took me a whopping thirty seconds to realize…Wow! I like this girl. She’s got spunk! I was initially intrigued by her physical presentation. The “rock star” hair, badass outfits, vibrant accessories, super fit bod, and that silky-smooth, Hershey chocolate skin of hers. And then she started to speak. I went from being intrigued (pleasantly) to being totally captivated and under Wiyaala’s spell. Amongst other things, she shares with us the reviews she received as a young girl. That she was ugly, boyish looking, too muscular. Her response was everything. “I don’t care.” Similarly, later in life when Wiyaala was encouraged to try Beyoncé or Rhianna’s look, she kept that same (I don’t care. I’m doing me) energy. She shades no one, but confidently affirms that although she’s in an industry that glorifies a particular “look”, she will not be conforming–she’d rather rock out in her own way, in her own lane. It’s as if self-confidence and self-awareness are just oozing all over and out of this girl. I LOVE that! The confidence to say, “This is who I am and I am not changing.” Being comfortable enough in your skin to own who you are, to not need anyone’s stamp of approval. To me, this is the epitome of living your best life.

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In addition to being uber comfortable in her skin, Wiyaala is a determined and talented artist, dedicated to giving back to her community. I’m a total fan of “The Lioness of Africa”! She’s got beauty, grit, confidence, and a kind and giving heart. In a nutshell, she’s Dope AF. And my #WCE.

Lavender Lemonade

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Hey Girls Hey!!! Lavender Lemonade will be available SO soon! I’m so excited I wanted to share a sneak preview with you today. Meet Deja, Nia, and Tish–three friends who are hungry for love.  The friends find themselves desperately desiring and willing to do anything for love, as many (Shiiiiid! ALL ) of us can relate to. But as we all know, that shit gets real tricky, can be quite disappointing, and is oftentimes an open invitation for settling. Tish, Deja, and Nia learn the hard way that something as precious as real love and true commitment cant be forced, rushed, or mocked. However, the most meaningful lesson these three friends learn is that loving yourself first is the golden key that unlocks the door to living your biggest, fullest, and happiest life.

Deja…

But Tage wasn’t just any man to Deja. She genuinely wanted him to be her man. She saw herself marrying and carrying babies for him. And although their “connection-ship” provided her plenty of room for desire, Deja was too wrapped up in the moment, too wrapped up in the possibilities, too wrapped up in being someone special to someone (to anyone), too wrapped up in maybe one day, too wrapped up into him to demand (gently request) more. Deep down she knew she wanted more (exclusivity, commitment, a title), figured she probably deserved more out of a “relationship” but fear of losing the little she did have with Tage paralyzed her from rocking the boat. So for the last two years (and counting), she settled (slummed) for their bi-monthly Netflix and Chill themed play dates.

Nia…

During their last talk, Raheem fed Nia enough lines to keep her in tow for another year and a half, sans proposal and ring. And considering all the time already invested, her cake candles count, the dismal dating scene her single girlfriends were always crying over, Nia elected to hang in there a little longer, hoping that one day, one month, one year this man would finally stop hazing her and officially initiate her into The First Wives Club. During that year and a half, Nia remained hopeful. She also put her desires on the backburner, bit her tongue, refused to make mention of anything related to marriage. She consoled herself by focusing on how lucky she was to even have a man at all with all these single girls out here trying to get what she already had. Things may not be perfect. He may not be forthcoming with his intentions to marry me (or not), but at least I have a man, she would tell herself (while trying to convince herself).

However, Nia started to notice a recent shift in her attitude toward Raheem and their relationship. The closer she got to 35, the less lucky, the less satisfied she found herself feeling about her role as The Possible Forever Girlfriend. It was becoming more and more difficult to convince herself that she wasn’t being strung along, that she should just be happy with what she had (even though she wanted more).   Nia was growing tired of the same-old-same-old. She was ready for a change.

Tish…

Their arrangement was quite exhilarating for Tish in the beginning. She was single. Had no one to answer to. Wasn’t in need of being taken care of financially. Could do whatever she pleased. And at the time, unattached, casual, fun sex with a guy who knew his way around the bedroom was exactly what she pleased. But of late, she honestly didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to play the Young, Wild, Free, and Having Way Too Much Fun card. It was increasingly becoming less and less thrilling. Tish found herself trying to calculate, exactly, what was so exciting about a man only enjoying and appreciating her for her physical offerings quite often lately.

Tish wasn’t particularly interested in a relationship with Dray, to be honest. He didn’t seem to possess the qualities she deemed admirable in a man, like trustworthiness, loyalty, self-discipline, honesty, reliability, and selflessness.Nonetheless, she was secretly becoming more and more irritated by the fact Dray could lay up with her week after week, month after month, and not see her, really see her. That he could not take notice of and appreciate all the many things she had to offer besides sex. Their sexual trysts were becoming emotionally and spiritually draining.   Their “arrangement” was starting to no longer align with her spirit and thinking–I am so much more than this. I deserve more than this.

Stay tuned to find out what happens next with Deja, Nia, and Tish…

As always, thank you so kindly for  stopping by and taking a sneak peek into my first novelette. More information on its release date, availability, and sneak peeks coming soon (like next week soon)!

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Fun Fact! My friends and I are the cover models for Lavender Lemonade. After the artist flaked my friends came to the rescue.

 

 

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                                                        After the City Center “photo shoot” we got our passports stamped…

 

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Then we enjoyed sweet, cold, and tasty treats.    

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Self Care

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My definition of self care is pretty simple. Self care is simply loving on yourself, showing care and concern for your mind, body, and soul.  Self care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. In our homes and on our jobs we’re constantly considering and taking care of everything and everyone.  While caught up in all the hustle and bustle it’s so easy to neglect our needs and desires. Amongst many things, self care is a defense against being taking over (or under) by the many  stressors of simply living life. Self care allows us to slow down, take a breath, redirect our thinking, re-channel our attention away from fear and worry, and focus on the positive.  For these reasons alone, self care is essential for all of us.

Self-Care Favorites:

  1. Exercise : It just feels good! Well…let me clarify. Dance fitness feels really good. Twerking and whining while clearing my head and releasing the day’s stressors,  in a Zumba or Just Dance class is so refreshing! I leave feeling light and encouraged. The health and fitness benefits are just a bonuses. Then there’s the not so fun exercise–toning, strength training, wogging (walk-jog). In the moment, it rarely feels like self care. More like self torture. In the moment, I’m focused on pacing myself and breathing properly, lifting a weight effectively, stretching; not a to do or to pay or to call list. I’m on break and for that I’m grateful. Plus, afterwards, I find myself feeling stronger and more confident. As a result, I keep these not so fun activities in rotation. They’re worth the torture.
  2. Reading: Leisure reading. Diving into well written stories, connecting with characters, eagerly waiting to learn how their stories will unfold is pure joy.  Reading a good book is like going on a mini vacation without the hassle of packing. And it truly feels like a get away.  It also feels like I’m turning the hustle and bustle button off and freezing time when I’m curled up with a good book.

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    Yes, some are library books. I love visiting libraries and signing out books.

  3. Plants: This summer plants have definitely been placed in my Self Care rotation. Why? Simply put, they make me smile. This may also be a sign that I’m getting old–er. I love how beautiful and resilient plants are. I wake up each morning, check their leaves and the soil, water them if need be, place some outside a couple days a week, move the curtains aside so the others can get the sunlight they need. Then I take a step back, admire my efforts, and… feeling like the king of this house I think, “It is good”. I also think, Girl…you’re about to turn into The Plant Lady!      
  4. Inspirational Messages: Listening to words that inspire me is definitely a part of self care for me. Whether it’s an audio book like The Four Agreements or Devon Franklin or T.D. Jakes or Oprah Winfrey. Their words, messages, and advice inspire and uplift my soul. Such a welcoming shift from the negativity we’re constantly bombarded with on a daily basis.
  5. Music: In the mornings, or when I’m cleaning the house, or while taking a walk, or driving to work, or on lunch breaks, or whenever, I’m usually tuned in and dancing along to one of my favorite Pandora stations. Music just makes me feel happy and free and light.
  6. Alone Time: Being alone is so essential for my overall well being and happiness. I need time, on a daily basis, to just be–whether it’s to  be quite and still, dancing around the house being goofy (“Keke, do you love me?” ),  being contemplative, or whatever. Alone time is golden.
  7. Tea: The day can’t  start without a cup of tea. Turmeric, chamomile, sweet rose,  yerba matte, green…you name it. I love hot tea with agave.  I’m certain I’m probably overdoing it on the agave. I’m also certain I don’t care. Lol. Sipping tea is so relaxing, kind of like a mediation of its own.
  8. Looking My Best: This may be shallow and superficial to some, but I don’t care. Lol. Looking my best–soft/healthy skin, healthy/fit weight, healthy and fluffy twists, eyebrows drawn on to precision, clean/well put together fits–brings so much joy to my heart. When I look my best I feel like what I am…a well taken care of and loved soul.
  9. Laughing and Spending Time With My Peeps : I need laughter like I need air. I  crack my own jokes (corny jokes but jokes nonetheless) and make myself laugh.I watch silly shows and funny movies, listen to comedians, spend time with people who make me laugh.  It is not lost on me that every time I’m in the presence of those who love and care about me (family/friends/tribe) laughter is inevitable. For that I am extremely grateful.

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    I love laughing!

  10. Spending Time With God: Praying. Showing gratitude. Asking for help/guidance/strength. Venting. Crying. Confiding in. This summer I decided to be way more intentional about praying, spending time with God, and writing in a gratitude journal. I’ve noticed feeling even lighter and freer. I have a little area I like to call our Kick It room. There have been some mornings where I don’t say anything. I just sit in the Kick It room and I can feel the comfort of His presence. It’s wild…in a good way.

Well enough about me!  I’d love to learn about some of your self care favorites! How often do you engage in self care? How do you benefit from self care?