4 Mistakes All Single Women should Avoid Making (or Remixing)

You’ve been single for a minute now. You’re starting to feel a little restless. Just about ready to throw in the towel and risk it all–your peace & your joy–for somebody who ain’t even worth it. But girl, I can’t watch you do that (again)! You’ve come too far. You’ve been self love and self care heavy. You’re on top of all your goals! You’ve managed to sidestep your way by a whole lot of unnecessary drama and low vibes. You’re in a great space sis! With that being said, please allow this blog post to serve as a friendly and loving reminder of mistakes we (because when I write for you I’m also writing for myself) should all avoid making or RE-making ( remixing) while navigating, with style and grace, or single path .

4 Mistakes For All Single Women to Avoid Making (or Remixing)

  1. Allowing people/society to make you feel less than because of your romantic love life status. When you allow this, you’re declaring and agreeing with said members of society. You then start to judge, belittle, and mistreat yourself based on someone else’s narrow minded thinking. This causes you to feel low about yourself and your life. (Not cool!)
  2. Putting so much focus and energy on romantic love that you neglect and show no gratitude for all the other special and meaningful ways Love presents itself in your life. Folks (a lot of folks) love you. Parent/s. Family members. A sister friend. Your homeboy. Your creator. Love is around you. Love is in you. You are loved. You are love. Appreciate all the many ways love shows up, uniquely packaged, just for you.
  3. Putting your life on hold because you’re waiting for someone (new bae) to spice it up. Girl! You. Are. The. Spice. So get to spicing! Live. Enjoy. Be festive. Have fun. Learn new things. Grow. Lean into your joy. It’s your job to make your like as adventurous and as full as possible. You deserve adventure. You deserve fun. You deserve amazing moments. You deserve achievements. You deserve fulfillment. And you have the power to make all that happen. Right now! The bonus is this: when you do start dating someone worth it, you’ll have lots of cool sh*t to talk about. In the interim, make certain you’re living your life, and not wasting it.
  4. Choosing just anybody (any-old-body!). Choosing someone who’s obviously not a good fit for you and your happiness goals. Desperation, loneliness, haste, boredom, and mistake #1 are the reasons we find ourselves in these tricky situations. But we don’t have time for tricks. Try these instead: Take your time. Curate a life you love. Stop letting people tell you who you are. Stop affixing your worth to your romantic love life status.

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How to know if you’re settling For The Wrong relationship

Photo by Caique Silva on Pexels.com
  • You want more (BETTER).
  • You feel you deserve more (BETTER).
  • You force yourself to be content (You’re fake happy, fake fulfilled).
  • You feel low. (Most or All of the time).

Point 1 : You have an idea or desire for what you want/expect (examples: honest communication, consideration, support, affection, date nights, to feel safe and loved, kind words, friendship, laughter, gifts, honesty, fun, to feel heard) from a relationship, but you’re not experiencing the things you desire OR you’re experiencing them in small, sporadic, inconsistent doses.

Point 2: Deep down (or maybe not so deep down) you feel (and know) you deserve better. That nagging suspicion or that wondering that seems to be on repeat are oftentimes your indicators and your guides.

Point 3: You find yourself trying to convince yourself that “It’s cool”. You talk yourself out of what you really desire and attempt to force yourself to just be happy with what you have (even though what you’re being given doesn’t fill you up).

Point 4: You feel sucky. Low. Hopeless. When we go against what our spirit wants and needs the end product is feeling super low. Your spirit wants you happy, joyful, having a good time, feeling good, safe, and at ease.

If you feel you may be settling for the wrong relationship, I encourage you to:

Reflect on what’s holding you hostage. It’s mostly likely fear. Reflect on what you’re afraid of. Face your fears head on and counter all fear based thoughts. For example, Fear Based Thoughts: I’m afraid that this relationship is my ONLY chance at having love. Nobody else wants me. I’m too old. Counter Thoughts: Is it TRUE that in life we only get one shot at love? Isn’t there evidence to support that people start over and live happily with people more fitting for them ALL THE TIME? Isn’t there evidence to support that people are finding real love at all ages? If others can have it why can’t I?

Stop telling yourself (consciously or subconsciously) that you’re not worthy of what you really want. Stop allowing yourself to believe this. Get comfortable countering thoughts and beliefs that make you feel less than and unworthy. Start with daily affirmations ( I am deserving. I am enough. I am worthy). Typically, we settle because subconsciously we don’t believe that we are deserving. Changing that narrative starts with changing your thinking about yourself. P.S. Journaling and reciting daily affirmations/declarations is a great start, Additionally, a licensed professional can help you get to the root of why you may be feeling unworthy in certain areas of your life. He/she can also provide you with a variety of tools and strategies to help you see your worth more clearly.

I hope this read provided a little insight and encouragement. As always, I want you OUT of unhealthy and unhappy relationships, healing, seeing your worth, and happy. You deserve that!

Kindest regards,

Rhonda Marcelle

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