That Damn Dinner

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It’s hard to believe the season finale of Insecure is upon us. We all have so many questions and wonderings that will require more than one 30 minute episode to satisfy our curiosities. Sunday night was tough to watch. For some reason, I feel so connected with this cast, and I’m confident I’m not the only one. There were so many moments where all I could say was “Damn” (long and drawn out). Daniel and Issa’s phone conversation for instance. From Sunday to Sunday I was giving my man (he became “my man” when I saw how right he had that body looking. Makes me want to reconsider another ab challenge for myself. Hmmm…I just reconsidered it. And…no thanks. Daniel got us. ) the benefit of the doubt. I assumed he didn’t intentionally splash , or should I say spray Issa in the face with…y’all saw the episode. But then he’s all like “…well we’re even now.” I’m like dude! She’s was about to forgive you. Let it ride. And here you go saying something stupid and totally unnecessary. Damn…

Issa and Lawrence. Damn. Damn. Damn (in my Florida Evan’s voice). First of all, Issa had no business pressing Lawrence about bringing a date. FOH. But he went in on her. And she went in on him! And I hated every second of watching their hurt and pain revealed in clapbacks and one ups. As she wrecks her apartment, for the first time, I felt sympathy for her. Like if she could rewind the hands of time, she’d make a different choice. One that may not have involved staying in an unfulfilling relationship but did involve respecting your partner, relationship, and friendship enough not to totally destroy and wreck it beyond repair. Unfortunately… we don’t always get the luxury of rewinding time to make a better choice. And with some people/friendships/relationships, once you lose them, you lose them for good.   Although Issa took an L and tomorrow she may bounce back, Party Time wasted no time on Operation Bounce Back with his new, swaggy friend. Courtesy of him, we may have a chorus coming soon: At 10pm I took an L but at 11pm I bounced back. Damn the both of yous…

Note: You both get on my nerves right now.

And then there’s Molly. Poor Molly. I mean, what the fuck was she thinking getting involved with Dro, especially when we all advised her, through our TV screens, and the “innanet” DON’T DO IT. She looked so pitiful sitting at that dinner table. As if things couldn’t getting any worse than totally being ignored, made to feel invisible by someone you’ve been intimate with  *(man…my jealous, sometimes mildly possessive ass would’ve turned that whole dinner party out. I once got irritated with a guy for telling me another woman “always keeps her hair looking good.” Excuse you!  Say what now? In my mind,  that was a detailed observation that required detailed observation,  it was the perfect opportunity NOT to pay attention, a concern that should not have concerned him. The only (and yes I meant only)  hairstyle he needed to be observing and concerned with  and paying attention to…was mine. Granted, that was YEARS ago  (I’ve grown a bit since) but I’m certain a little bit of that is still in me. Hence, why I steer clear of those types of sharing situations. I know me #knowthyself.  I can’t handle it.)  they get it in in the restaurant bathroom only for him to prove once again she’s not, nor will she ever be, priority. The entire situation made her feel cheap. Disposable. Unworthy (not worth it). Like an option.  Humiliated. I really wished she would’ve given Lionel (with his not so boring to me boring ass a chance) . That way I would not have had to feel the character’s pain, disgust with self, confusion, anger, and hurt ultimately being reminders of times I myself owned those feelings (not for ratings but for real for real).  I understand, but still loathe situations where we (women) take (accept, allow, make ourselves ok with)  less just to say we have some…thing. Those situations that leave us holding the short end of the stick.  Damn those situations.  I need Molly to make us all proud  (Sisters Unite) tomorrow by getting out and staying out.

Alright. Brining this long ass post to a close. Until next time…

*long ass parenthesis break. Sorry.

Really Lawrence?

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Shortly after opening credits we learned that Party Time Lawrence was still alive and well.  We see him and Tasha engaged in yet another on and poppin session. As he swiftly gets dressed, indicates he has to go, and informs Tasha Thursday wouldn’t be a good night for hanging out, I thought, I don’t really like the sound, feel, or look of this. Not wanting jump to conclusions though, trying to give my man Lawrence the benefit of the doubt (especially being that I proudly proclaimed to be a proud member of his team just last week) I encouraged myself to chill. (Chill Rhonda. Just chill).

But then his friend, during their little guy talk, confirmed my suspicions. Godammit! Lawrence on that bullshit right now. It’s not ok to use people to serve as entertainment, ego boosters, pick me ups, or charging stations when you’re whole everything–confidence, emotions, outlook on life–is on low. Women  are super emotional beings, nurturers by nature. We have a strong desire to make everything good in the lives of those we care about. And this is precisely why we have to proceed very cautiously and do everything in our power to avoid putting ourselves in certain situations and setting ourselves up for hurt and heartbreak (which I suspect Tasha may be doing). 

It’s not uncommon for people to find a rebound person to help them with their bounce back . And  shortly after obtaining everything needed, they bounce on said person, leaving naive, unsuspecting, high hopes person (in this case Tasha) high and dry, feeling all unworthy and under-valued while they go on with their life, living all carefree and happily ever and what not.

I was so hopeful for Tasha,  but Sunday’s episode has totally smothered said hopes. It could be too soon to tell but I doubt it. At best Lawrence may force himself to hang in there with Tasha a little while longer, enjoying all the sex she’s willing to share, applying as minimal effort as possible, avoiding So What Are We conversations as to not expose his truth and hurt her feelings (cause he know he wrong) and eventually feeling forced to tell her, “I’m sorry. I think we should just be friends.” And then asking a dumb ass question similar to this: Why are you so upset? I thought we were just having fun. Really Lawrence?  That’s what you thought we were doing (in my sarcastic voice)? The truth however would sound more like this: I was hurt, still trippin off old girl, knew you were interested and wouldn’t turn me down, I got you caught up in my whirlpool of emotions, I enjoyed every second of swagger redeeming sex had with you, plus your body’s bangin,  I gave no fucks about your feelings and how my selfishness would impact you in the long run.

Lawrence may even take the easy route and just fade to black on Tasha. Either way, I have a problem with him right now. It is not (I repeat…NOT) ok to use and play people for selfish gain. A guy may think it’s just fun and sex while the young lady he’s funnin and sexing is steadily falling in love. Feelings deserve to be treated delicately, respected, and regarded with the purest of intentions. In other words, don’t play with people’s freakin feelings and emotions man! This is  exactly how you lose cool points (MA-JOR deduction).

And I’m still trying to wrap my understanding around what happened at the end of Sunday night’s show. “Ma dude” you’re all over the place right now, creating unnecessary confusion and agony for all parties engaging with you. Having a seat (several seats) sounds ideal right about now. Retire that Party Time jersey for a second. You’re hurt, lost, broken, and consequently causing those involved with you hurt, loss, and brokenness.  Even I’m feeling hurt and confused and team LESS right now. Like dude, “what is you doing”? 

Note: I feel like Chuck, Shaq , Kenny, Ernie and all other NBA playoffs/finals commentators who flip flop team favorites every other night during playoff season,  depending on which team is playing the best. Lawrence, you are not playing the best right now. 

 

Until the next episode, one irritated black girl has officially signed off.

Team Lawrence

 

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As we’re all waiting with bated breath for Insecure Season 2 to kick off, I can’t help but recall how Lawrence played the hell out of all of us on that final episode of last season’s show. We thought he’d be sitting in their apartment, on that sofa, looking pitiful, awaiting to have a conversation with Issa about the relationship’s next steps. As Issa enters, we don’t see Lawrence on his favorite spot though. We assume, being that it’s super late, he must be resting. We anticipated the meeting between the two being a little awkward at first.  Issa would work her charm, offer sincere sounding apologies, and Lawrence, being the nice, non-confrontational, just happy to be here guy he is, would take and stomach the hard blow (infidelity) Issa dealt, in the name of Love. And I guess that would’ve been an OK ending. Nah! I’m lying. I would’ve been SO disappointed had the season ended in that manner. I was cheering for Lawrence like one cheers for their favorite Cavs’ player at a Golden State vs. Cavs game. When Issa enters the bare, Lawrence-less bedroom I was like Say. What. Now. Couldn’t help but sit up a little taller on my own sofa. What’s happening here? Then she pulls open the closet door only to learn it’s empty…AF (well he did leave his Best Buy polo shirt) and that’s precisely when a slight smirk crossed my face and Lawrence received the infamous I See You head nod from me.

Hating to see the too nice people of the world (TV world included) get the short end of the stick, I was geeked about Lawrence reclaiming his dignity and getting some of his swagger back. Of course, I’m aware he was unemployed (but receiving unemployment checks and had savings to fall back on thus not living off of Issa totally) far longer than desired, seemed to have lost a little bit of his confidence and ambition (temporarily), and totally threw some of his GQ out the window (lack of haircut, unshaven, unsightly lounge clothes). All things considered, I’m still a proud member of his team. He did not deserve what he was dealt.  I’ve always felt Lawrence was a good guy who could be trusted, counted on. Not perfect, but loyal. And his loyalty, despite all his other imperfections won him SO many points on my score card. Sending Miss Tasha away when she tried to holler gained him a point or two. Always having Issa’s back, supporting her professional endeavors, encouraging her, you know being a true friend, earned him points as well.  I think Issa’s cool and all. Don’t get me wrong. But she lost  lot of cool points along the way when she:

  1. Thought it would be entertaining to to make light of her best friend’s love (or lack there of) crisis. Molly pours her heart out to someone she feels she can trust. Issa abuses that trust, hops on stage and has the time of her life rapping about Molly’s “broken pussy” . How insensitive! With friends like that who needs enemies?  Girl. All. The. Way. Bye. (Deduction)
  2. Told Daniel he was just an itch she needed to scratch. Like wasn’t this guy supposed to be her “friend” at some point. I mean Daniel isn’t my favorite character but geesh , when she said that to him MY feelings were hurt. Insensitive. Cold. Heartless. (Deduction!)
  3. Smashed the homie on a recording studio floor because she was “bored” with her relationship.  Poor Lawrence was at home figuring out how to get the Broken Pussy video ( remember how humiliated Molly felt during Issa’s performance) off the internet because now, the video was causing Issa to feel humiliated as it threatened to tarnish her reputation. Karma is so hilarious sometimes. (Girl Bye. Again. Deduction)

Basically, I don’t feel Issa treats the people who care about her very well. Kinda takes them for granted, until it’s too late.  And this is why she comes up short on the Cool Points Scorecard for me.

Now, let me circle back to my recap so I can hurry up and tell ya’ll know who else I think is kinda cool. Recap continued: We think the show will end there, with Issa looking all pathetic while staring at the blue polo. But nah. Lawrence wasn’t finished with us yet. As if telling Issa he missed her, giving her the impression he wanted to talk, having her race back home at 1:00am-ish to a Lawrence-less abode, leaving his keys on the counter and his shirt in the closet wasn’t enough, we’re left with the image of Lawrence blowing Miss Lady’s back out (like AAAAAALLLLL THE WAY OOOUUUTTT). Where in the world was Party Time Lawrence hiding ALL that time? (Questions that need answers.)

And while we’re discussing Miss Lady from the bank, I must say I think she’s kinda cool. Many deemed her a THOT and a homewrecker. That confused me. She was interested in Lawrence, saw some things Issa stopped seeing in him, provided pep talks and confidence boosters, had no idea he was involved, and stepped off when he told her what was up. Where is the THOT????  Please let me know because I couldn’t find one.   To be honest, I’m actually hoping he gives her a chance. No disrespect to Issa or anything but something tells me Tasha may be good for Lawrence. I could be wrong. I could be right. One thing is for certain, I’ll definitely be tuned in this season to see the goings on. All the goings on (in my Bernie Mac voice).

Lastly, is it just me or is EVERYBODY planning and/or attending an Insecure Watch Party? Sunday’s about to be LIT. Happy watching and we’ll be talking!