Finding Something Real Later In The Game

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As I  smile and click the like button (they really need a love button feature) on most of her pics, and tell friends, “I’m so happy for her. Look at her! She radiates joy and happiness.”, you’d think Letoya Luckett was a personal girlfriend of mine. She’s not, but that would be so cool! ( Her IG posts give me the impression she enjoys life and living. And I love that.) Nonetheless her recent announcement, beach pics with bae, videos, and more fill me with joy.

Let me be real clear, I’m happy for all women who find something real. But I find myself ELATED for women who find something real a little later in the game.  Later in the game meaning you didn’t have the luxury of meeting and marrying your high school sweetheart. Or the privilege of taking that fine chocolate fella who majored in Finance off the market, at the tender ripe age of 21.  Checking meet, marry, and be in a happy, healthy, and loving marriage, with a good man, off your list so you can move on to other life goals.  Nah. For Later In The Game girls something real (solid love) didn’t debut (or hasn’t debuted) as seamlessly as you once may have thought it should. You’ve been through some trials and errors. Some of us more than others.  You’ve found yourself baffled when you’ve done everything you thought you should do but the Love math still ain’t add up right. You may have even declared  after one too many relationship fails Fuck. This. Shit. Now I’m gonna be done (in my Sammy from Jersey Shore voice). Letoya shares that she also struggled with staying open, hopeful, optimistic about Love after her failed relationship with Rob Hill (Me being nosy: Why did they breakup anyway?). But she prayed about meeting someone amazing, had faith, and lived her life (YAAASSSS! I love a girl who lives her life!) until her desire manifested itself.

Earlier I mentioned being filled with joy when her pics blast my timeline. I have to wonder if a small part of this is connected to selfish reasons. You know how in church pastors will tell you to be happy for others who are being blessed because it means you’re blessing may be coming next?  Her story makes me feel less Fuck This Shit: All These MF’s crazy (hands claps inserted) and a little more OK. Sweet, Genuine, Good Hearted Guys Still Exist: Finding Something Real Is Still  Possible…even for Later In The Game girls like me.

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I’m appreciative of Letoya being so open and sharing her story with us. My mustard seed size faith in Love has grown a little more consequently. I hope yours’ has as well.

Oh Tinder

 

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This summer has been quite entertaining to be honest. Nonetheless, about a month ago, I guess I decided a little more entertainment, on those occasional long days of summer, couldn’t hurt (wrong). Those days when everyone else was working, reading didn’t keep my full attention, naps started to bore me, nothing good was on TV, I’d already posted nine times on IG, and my work out class didn’t start for another five hours, Tinder to the rescue. The first few days it was kind of fun. I likened it to playing a video game (although I’m not a huge video game player). Swipe left. Swipe left. Left again. Now right! OK.  I see you. It’s a match! And the next time you’re bored, you play your video game some more. Unfortunately (for me) the novelty of Tinder wore off …real fast. This shit ain’t fun no more.

Why Tinder’s No Longer Fun:

  1. I’m convinced a significant number of people are just curious to know who thinks they’re nice looking. I say this because I have numerous matches in my Tinder log at the moment. These are clearly guys I thought were handsome or kinda cute; guys who must have thought I was at least ok looking. We both swiped right…and that was it! No, greeting, No messages. No nothing. Was I supposed to send a greeting message or something? (Cause I didn’t.) Well, on the bright side, at least I know about 100 (exaggerated number but you get my point) guys from the DMV area think I’m cute. And that’s just so fucking fulfilling. (Sarcasm inserted).
  2.  Tinder definitely has quantity, but I’m not yet convinced it has much to offer me at this time. From the guy who just wants a smoking partner, to the guy who refers to himself as a “freelance gynecologist”, to the guy who referred to me as “cocoa puff” (what the) to the self-proclaimed “cunning linguist” , I think I’m good. Oh and how could I forget the guys who post print pics and almost nudes ? So you’re just all up on the app with your dick out ? in my Kevin Hart voice. I revised my profile to expedite the weeding out process. Matches and messages got dry almost instantaneously.
  3. Tinder doesn’t encourage or inspire  me to be open-minded. My tinder apathy could have a lot to do with everything mentioned in point #2 in my defense. You live 20 miles away?  Too far. Nope. Why you got those silly looking shorts on? Nope. Duck lips? On a dude? Fuck nah. Four kids? As in 4? Nope! I could legit be “Noping” a small (very, very, very small) percentage of quality people on petty technicalities.  But let me check to see how many fukks I give and get back to you on that.

There’s definitely more I can talk about, like the married/involved guys posturing as eligible bachelors. But I think that may deserve a post all of its own. It’s said that  anything you want, you have to work hard for it. But my spirit tells me this is some foolishness and I shouldn’t have to work this hard. I mean, it’s not work work, but it is annoying. And  I equate annoying to hard work. So I think I’ll close my summer out meeting people more organically. (That reminds me, I’m gonna be late for Happy Hour if I don’t hurry up). In the interim, I think I’ll be taking a step back from Tinder for now. All things considered, I’m okay with that.

 

Signing off as A Girl Who Just Doesn’t Think Tinder’s For Her