Why I Appreciated Girls Trip

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A friend and I recently had the opportunity to exchange thoughts regarding the recently released Girls Trip. She shared how she thought she was a combination of Lisa and Dina. We laughed for what felt like hours as we recalled the golden shower and grapefruit scenes. A moment was also designated to clarify some grapefruit related information for me. (People really do that? THAT’S what that lady was talking about in that video? Hmmm. Interesting. Well what about the citrus juice? I wonder why she said don’t use a pineapple though?). And my friends are kind enough to take their time with me. I love them for that. They know I process some things on the slower side. Lol.

We talked about Ryan’s unfulfilling relationship. How my aunt thought  her husband was “ugly”.  “They could’ve gotten a better looking man than that to play her husband. That man was ugly.”, were her exact words.  My friend totally disagreed by the way. “If she would’ve stayed with him, not told the truth, and continued living a lie I would have cried for her.” , concluded my mom. My friend and I touched on how we were happy to see Ryan get her swagger back at the end of the movie and the possibility of her pairing with Larenz Tate’s character. Speaking of Larenz Tate!  He looks freakin amazing! He almost makes me want to consider being vegan. Almost. For now, I’ll consume meat/dairy in moderation. Work out 3-4 times a week. Shoot for a gallon of water a day. And get plenty of rest. That’s all I got. Chicken wings and macaroni and cheese be calling my name. Then we reminisced on personal Essence experiences, many moons ago (chasing Boris Kodjoe down the road so we could get a picture. He looks just as good in person as he does in photos and on T.V.  There was no shame in leaving a table full of girlfriends in a Nawlins restaurant while we broke out into young jogs, for blocks, racing to catch up with BK’s fine ass. And it was so worth  it!).

After the laughing, note comparisons, and reminiscing concluded,  I was reminded of  what I appreciated most about Girls Trip (even more so than the opportunity to drool over Kofi’s beautiful self) . I appreciate how  the true testament of true friendship was represented in GT. As they went in on each other in that hotel lobby, threw the F word around like crazy, said some pretty hurtful things to one another, and made unfair assumptions, I wondered how in the world would they  recover; if they’d recover.  As a person who is prone to putting  walls up as a safeguard from pain,  it made me wonder  if I’d be open, willing, vulnerable enough to rekindle with friends after such offenses. I loved how they said what they felt needed to be said, issued sincere apologies,  cleared up misconceptions, clean slated each other, and kept the party going.   I once believed a sign of  a true friendship is never being offended by anyone. Every friend doing and saying the right things so there are never any “issues”. But that’s bullshit. That’s not how life works… at all.  And it holds people to unfair and unrealistic standards. I now feel that true friendship involves being able to make mistakes (because no one is perfect), having a safe space where you can be vulnerable and not guarded, vulnerable enough to aplogize when your’e wrong, vulnerable enough to forgive, clean slate, and keep the friend train moving. True friendship involves courage and having uncomfortable conversations instead of taking the easy route (done-ing someone). It involves valuing the relationships you have more than you value your pride or image. They can involve work sometimes. But true friendships are worth the work.

I will be seeing Girls Trip for a third time today!  And no, not because I want to drool over Kofi (again). I want to accompany and spend quality time with a friend  (cousin) who hasn’t seen it yet, laugh some more, and be reminded once again of what true friendship looks like.

Really Lawrence?

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Shortly after opening credits we learned that Party Time Lawrence was still alive and well.  We see him and Tasha engaged in yet another on and poppin session. As he swiftly gets dressed, indicates he has to go, and informs Tasha Thursday wouldn’t be a good night for hanging out, I thought, I don’t really like the sound, feel, or look of this. Not wanting jump to conclusions though, trying to give my man Lawrence the benefit of the doubt (especially being that I proudly proclaimed to be a proud member of his team just last week) I encouraged myself to chill. (Chill Rhonda. Just chill).

But then his friend, during their little guy talk, confirmed my suspicions. Godammit! Lawrence on that bullshit right now. It’s not ok to use people to serve as entertainment, ego boosters, pick me ups, or charging stations when you’re whole everything–confidence, emotions, outlook on life–is on low. Women  are super emotional beings, nurturers by nature. We have a strong desire to make everything good in the lives of those we care about. And this is precisely why we have to proceed very cautiously and do everything in our power to avoid putting ourselves in certain situations and setting ourselves up for hurt and heartbreak (which I suspect Tasha may be doing). 

It’s not uncommon for people to find a rebound person to help them with their bounce back . And  shortly after obtaining everything needed, they bounce on said person, leaving naive, unsuspecting, high hopes person (in this case Tasha) high and dry, feeling all unworthy and under-valued while they go on with their life, living all carefree and happily ever and what not.

I was so hopeful for Tasha,  but Sunday’s episode has totally smothered said hopes. It could be too soon to tell but I doubt it. At best Lawrence may force himself to hang in there with Tasha a little while longer, enjoying all the sex she’s willing to share, applying as minimal effort as possible, avoiding So What Are We conversations as to not expose his truth and hurt her feelings (cause he know he wrong) and eventually feeling forced to tell her, “I’m sorry. I think we should just be friends.” And then asking a dumb ass question similar to this: Why are you so upset? I thought we were just having fun. Really Lawrence?  That’s what you thought we were doing (in my sarcastic voice)? The truth however would sound more like this: I was hurt, still trippin off old girl, knew you were interested and wouldn’t turn me down, I got you caught up in my whirlpool of emotions, I enjoyed every second of swagger redeeming sex had with you, plus your body’s bangin,  I gave no fucks about your feelings and how my selfishness would impact you in the long run.

Lawrence may even take the easy route and just fade to black on Tasha. Either way, I have a problem with him right now. It is not (I repeat…NOT) ok to use and play people for selfish gain. A guy may think it’s just fun and sex while the young lady he’s funnin and sexing is steadily falling in love. Feelings deserve to be treated delicately, respected, and regarded with the purest of intentions. In other words, don’t play with people’s freakin feelings and emotions man! This is  exactly how you lose cool points (MA-JOR deduction).

And I’m still trying to wrap my understanding around what happened at the end of Sunday night’s show. “Ma dude” you’re all over the place right now, creating unnecessary confusion and agony for all parties engaging with you. Having a seat (several seats) sounds ideal right about now. Retire that Party Time jersey for a second. You’re hurt, lost, broken, and consequently causing those involved with you hurt, loss, and brokenness.  Even I’m feeling hurt and confused and team LESS right now. Like dude, “what is you doing”? 

Note: I feel like Chuck, Shaq , Kenny, Ernie and all other NBA playoffs/finals commentators who flip flop team favorites every other night during playoff season,  depending on which team is playing the best. Lawrence, you are not playing the best right now. 

 

Until the next episode, one irritated black girl has officially signed off.

Team Lawrence

 

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As we’re all waiting with bated breath for Insecure Season 2 to kick off, I can’t help but recall how Lawrence played the hell out of all of us on that final episode of last season’s show. We thought he’d be sitting in their apartment, on that sofa, looking pitiful, awaiting to have a conversation with Issa about the relationship’s next steps. As Issa enters, we don’t see Lawrence on his favorite spot though. We assume, being that it’s super late, he must be resting. We anticipated the meeting between the two being a little awkward at first.  Issa would work her charm, offer sincere sounding apologies, and Lawrence, being the nice, non-confrontational, just happy to be here guy he is, would take and stomach the hard blow (infidelity) Issa dealt, in the name of Love. And I guess that would’ve been an OK ending. Nah! I’m lying. I would’ve been SO disappointed had the season ended in that manner. I was cheering for Lawrence like one cheers for their favorite Cavs’ player at a Golden State vs. Cavs game. When Issa enters the bare, Lawrence-less bedroom I was like Say. What. Now. Couldn’t help but sit up a little taller on my own sofa. What’s happening here? Then she pulls open the closet door only to learn it’s empty…AF (well he did leave his Best Buy polo shirt) and that’s precisely when a slight smirk crossed my face and Lawrence received the infamous I See You head nod from me.

Hating to see the too nice people of the world (TV world included) get the short end of the stick, I was geeked about Lawrence reclaiming his dignity and getting some of his swagger back. Of course, I’m aware he was unemployed (but receiving unemployment checks and had savings to fall back on thus not living off of Issa totally) far longer than desired, seemed to have lost a little bit of his confidence and ambition (temporarily), and totally threw some of his GQ out the window (lack of haircut, unshaven, unsightly lounge clothes). All things considered, I’m still a proud member of his team. He did not deserve what he was dealt.  I’ve always felt Lawrence was a good guy who could be trusted, counted on. Not perfect, but loyal. And his loyalty, despite all his other imperfections won him SO many points on my score card. Sending Miss Tasha away when she tried to holler gained him a point or two. Always having Issa’s back, supporting her professional endeavors, encouraging her, you know being a true friend, earned him points as well.  I think Issa’s cool and all. Don’t get me wrong. But she lost  lot of cool points along the way when she:

  1. Thought it would be entertaining to to make light of her best friend’s love (or lack there of) crisis. Molly pours her heart out to someone she feels she can trust. Issa abuses that trust, hops on stage and has the time of her life rapping about Molly’s “broken pussy” . How insensitive! With friends like that who needs enemies?  Girl. All. The. Way. Bye. (Deduction)
  2. Told Daniel he was just an itch she needed to scratch. Like wasn’t this guy supposed to be her “friend” at some point. I mean Daniel isn’t my favorite character but geesh , when she said that to him MY feelings were hurt. Insensitive. Cold. Heartless. (Deduction!)
  3. Smashed the homie on a recording studio floor because she was “bored” with her relationship.  Poor Lawrence was at home figuring out how to get the Broken Pussy video ( remember how humiliated Molly felt during Issa’s performance) off the internet because now, the video was causing Issa to feel humiliated as it threatened to tarnish her reputation. Karma is so hilarious sometimes. (Girl Bye. Again. Deduction)

Basically, I don’t feel Issa treats the people who care about her very well. Kinda takes them for granted, until it’s too late.  And this is why she comes up short on the Cool Points Scorecard for me.

Now, let me circle back to my recap so I can hurry up and tell ya’ll know who else I think is kinda cool. Recap continued: We think the show will end there, with Issa looking all pathetic while staring at the blue polo. But nah. Lawrence wasn’t finished with us yet. As if telling Issa he missed her, giving her the impression he wanted to talk, having her race back home at 1:00am-ish to a Lawrence-less abode, leaving his keys on the counter and his shirt in the closet wasn’t enough, we’re left with the image of Lawrence blowing Miss Lady’s back out (like AAAAAALLLLL THE WAY OOOUUUTTT). Where in the world was Party Time Lawrence hiding ALL that time? (Questions that need answers.)

And while we’re discussing Miss Lady from the bank, I must say I think she’s kinda cool. Many deemed her a THOT and a homewrecker. That confused me. She was interested in Lawrence, saw some things Issa stopped seeing in him, provided pep talks and confidence boosters, had no idea he was involved, and stepped off when he told her what was up. Where is the THOT????  Please let me know because I couldn’t find one.   To be honest, I’m actually hoping he gives her a chance. No disrespect to Issa or anything but something tells me Tasha may be good for Lawrence. I could be wrong. I could be right. One thing is for certain, I’ll definitely be tuned in this season to see the goings on. All the goings on (in my Bernie Mac voice).

Lastly, is it just me or is EVERYBODY planning and/or attending an Insecure Watch Party? Sunday’s about to be LIT. Happy watching and we’ll be talking!